I'm Sarah McLachlan. By now you know that whenever I show up it's not going to be good news. A terrible new atrocity has come to my attention. Every morning, thousands of elephants wake up bereft of their eyelashes, only to see them on TV woven into women's pants.
This is Michelle. Very little is known about her except that she once caught a fish and her insatiable obsession with Elephant Eyelash Pants. For the sake of elephants, and their eyelashes, all over the world she must be stopped.